Relationship Repair after a Rupture

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Discussions about restoring a better balance, particularly after a rupture – say if one partner has broken out of an old pattern?

This image is intended to convey the sense that one partner has grown beyond a previous “fit” within a relationship. This happens not infrequently, if one partner is engaged in a recovery process and the other is not. It may be that the rigid “confines” of a previously enmeshed relationship no longer works for one partner, and there is a “wresting free” from those tacit agreements or arrangements.

For instance, in the image below, one partner is “filling in” for another who may be under-functioning or failing to do their part. One of the partners may grow enough or change enough that such an arrangement no longer works for them.

There may then be a rupture (as illustrated in the first page) and a reorganization required if the couple relationship is to survive. Renegotiations may be required. Growth on the part of the other partner may be required, but the goal would be to achieve a healthier balance, ultimately, with each person more nearly doing their part.

Therapeutic modalities such as IFIO (Intimacy from the Inside Out), EFT (Emotionally focused therapy) or even 12 Step programs such as Recovering Couples Anonymous can help support members of a dyad to do their own work so as to revise the healthy balance within an intimate relationship.

Even parents and children, or other dyadic relationships have also utilized IFIO or EFT to repair the dynamics within a relationship so that it can find a “righter” interpersonal balance.

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