Trauma, Needs, Protective Maneuvers & Impacts on “Right Balance”?

What if – for instance – we had a very narcissistic demanding parent, and our safety required giving attention to them more than being able to attune to ourselves, explore our own self-awareness, express our own ideas? Or what if we needed to sharply curtail our expectations of receiving from others, as a survival mechanism?? […]

Power Dynamics in Relationships

In certain kinds of relationships, in which there tends to be power-over/ power-under dynamics, there may be a relationship within which two people do equal work –but one of the members takes over the full leadership role, requiring the other to simply follow. Patriarchy and certain kinds of extreme evangelical religions seem to put forth […]

IFS: Issues of Projections & Coming From “Parts”

In all interpersonal relationships, we are vulnerable to projections. Our doing so seems most likely to happen in intense intimate relationships, when old relationship dynamics are most readily triggered. (Our amygdala takes on a “scanning” function, recognizes when “like” seems similar to “like,” and we respond accordingly, usually out of our conscious awareness.) Sometimes we […]

Relationship Repair after a Rupture

Discussions about restoring a better balance, particularly after a rupture – say if one partner has broken out of an old pattern? This image is intended to convey the sense that one partner has grown beyond a previous “fit” within a relationship. This happens not infrequently, if one partner is engaged in a recovery process […]

Enmeshment, Codependency, Over or Under-Functioning Within a Relationship

Discussions about “right balance” interpersonally — what if there has been enmeshment, codependency, over-functioning, or under-functioning within a relationship? If we draw from the issues of balance (or imbalance) within ourselves, what if two people (each with their own idiosyncratic imbalances) get together? If we take two individuals, each in their own “imperfectness,” out of […]